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4 Most Common Mistakes Parents Make and Hurt Child’s Self-Esteem
Category: Articles,Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 2 weeks ago Comments: 0
Mistakes Parents Make Child’s Self-Esteem

Everything in our lives revolves around our self-esteem. Self-esteem is also known as self-respect and self-value and both refer to the same thing – to how we see ourselves. Whether we realize it or not, how we see ourselves is the key factor in everything we do. And, it influences our decisions greatly. When we have strong self-esteem, every challenge comes easier and we are not afraid to try new things because we believe in ourselves. The same goes for kids. The higher their self-esteem is, the more courage they will have and more they will believe in themselves. For that reason, You, as a parent, need to help your child build its self-esteem and not be an obstacle. Of course, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent and we all make mistakes sometimes. That is why we’ve decided to create this article that will point out the 4 most common mistakes parents make and hurt a child’s self-esteem so that you can avoid them and help your child believe in itself.

4 Most Common Mistakes Parents Make and Hurt Child’s Self-Esteem

Here are the 4 mistakes you should avoid as a parent so that you don’t hurt your child’s self-esteem development.

Hitting and Yelling

The most damaging thing you can do for your child’s self-esteem is to yell at it and hit it. By doing this, you are only showing that you can’t control your impulses and that you want to show how powerful you are. You also “teach” your child that it’s okay to display dominance this way. Is this really the message you want to send to your child? Of course not.

Okay, as we said, nobody’s perfect and we all lose our nerve from time to time. A parent can put up with kids to a certain point and then it’s either finding the right approach or letting all hell get lose. However, keep in mind that if you allow “all hell to get lose” you are making your child feel diminished. When parents hit and yell at their kids, their ability to develop a sense of a constructive conversation that is needed for solving a problem. All they will know is that they are not able to sort a problem. And that they need to yell and hit so that they hide the fact that they DON’T BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES…

Holding a Grudge

Every parent will experience its child behaving badly and having a conflict. But, it’s important to know that once the conflict is resolved, the worst thing you can do is to keep reminding your child about it. Kids should be allowed to be kids and they have the privilege of having a fresh start. By reminding your child of its bad behavior, you are only teaching it that holding a grudge is the right way to think.

Therefore, you need to teach your child that after learning from our mistakes, they stay in the past. The more you praise your child for its positive behavior after the incident, the more will it build its self-esteem. And, the chances that the same mistake happens again will be drastically reduced. Think about it…

Guilt Shaming

Asking your child from time to time to put itself in someone else’s situation is okay if the situation is appropriate for a “guilt shame”. However, doing this constantly for pretty much everything your child does will take a devastating toll. Making your child feel bad about its mistakes, feelings, emotions only pushes your child away from you.

For example, if your kid does something, he/she shouldn’t, saying “How do you think this makes me feel?” or “I hope you realize how much you’ve hurt me with your actions!” you are making your child feel guilty. And doing this often is not good at all.

What you need to realize that your “hurt ego” is not the most important thing in this situation. Instead of making your child feel guilty, try and find a way to calmly explain why its actions are not good and how he/she should have handled the situation. Allow your child to open up and ask for your opinion every time it has a problem instead of doing something behind your back just so that your feelings are not hurt.

Sarcasm

Mistakes Parents Child’s Self-Esteem - sarcasm

Each time you say something that you don’t really mean but want to point out the opposite of what you just said, you are being sarcastic. Kids can detect that sarcastic tone and it makes them feel ashamed of their “poor” choices. You are not teaching your child to make the right choices this way. On the contrary, you are creating a barrier between you and your kid and effective communication becomes harder and harder. Pay attention to your tone and don’t be sarcastic. Parents should not make such mistakes and hurt their child’s self-esteem. There are much better, friendly, and more effective ways of letting your child realize that it could have made a better choice.


Psychology Facts About Attraction
Category: Articles,Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 2 months ago Comments: 0

By now, you know what attracts you to other people: eye or hair color, body language, tone of the voice? But what if we told you that it’s pretty much your subconscious that does the picking? From the deepest corners of our subconscious, here are 7 fascinating psychology facts about attraction.

Women with older fathers are usually attracted to older partners

psychology facts about attraction

The “popular” belief that girls who like older men usually have some “father issues” is not entirely true. Some studies have shown that women who have/had older fathers are more likely to feel attracted to older men. For example, they find older men with less hair and more facial creases to be attractive. Also, the case is the same when it comes to women who had younger fathers.

 

Sight isn’t crucial to attraction

psychology facts about attraction

Sure, sight is one of the most important “sensors” when it comes to attraction. And of course, a few chemical reactions in the brain also spice up the whole thing. However, what if we told you that smell and sound play paramount roles in the whole attraction thing as well? Did you know that our partner-choosing decision is also made based on the amount of dominance in the voice, as well as how someone smells? So, besides watching, listening and “smelling” a potential partner are crucial steps in the whole process as well.

 

Scents incite attraction

We just determined that smell plays a huge role in attraction. But how to know which scent attracts and which “repels” a potential partner? For women, they seem to be attracted to men’s sweat scent because of androstanol. However, too much of this pheromone and the scent acts as a “repellent”.

On the other hand, men react to perfume positively, while the scent of tears acts as a repellent.

 

Opposites attract each other

We are all familiar with the saying “opposites attract each other”. And, the good news is, this isn’t just a saying, it is actually true. Certain studies show that both women and men are naturally attracted to people with a different genetic blueprint (human leukocyte antigen) It is our subconsciousness that “tells” us who has the best genetic material for a healthy continuing of the species. Supposedly, it is our brain that can detect that information from the scent.

 

Woman’s voice naturally increases when flirting

Did you notice that the woman’s voice increases a little when she is flirting? Also, it’s interesting to know that depending on the state she is in, the height of her voice changes. For example, the highest pitch is when she is ovulating. This sends a subconscious message to the male brain and that is why men love when women start “talking cute”.

 

“I love you” has a better effect if whispered into the left ear

When you want to make the butterflies in your partner’s belly tickle, make sure that you whisper in the left ear. There are studies that say that voice stimulation is more potent and long-lasting if whispered into the left ear instead of right. As a matter of fact, the left ear is 6% more stimulative than the right ear.

 

Red is the color of attraction

Love it or hate it, the fact stands, red color is the most attractive color to both women and men. Studies have shown that when wearing red or other warm and bright colors, both sexes have a higher success rate when it comes to attracting a potential partner.


What Caffeine Does to Your Brain
Category: Articles,Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 2 months ago Comments: 0

As we all by now know, coffee is one of the most popular beverages on our planet. Though it has been “roasted” by the media in the past (pun intended) coffee is actually a beverage that is good for your body. Also, in our culture of living this beverage is considered to be a valuable source of antioxidants. And, it is likewise connected to numerous health benefits such as a decreased risk of liver disease and type 2 diabetes. But what caffeine does to your brain and your body is more than just getting rid of the toxins, here’s why it’s good for you (if you drink it in moderate amounts of course).

 

What Caffeine Does to Your Brain – Active Ingredients

what caffeine does to your brain

As we said, if you drink coffee in moderate amounts, it can be very healthy for you. Not many people know that coffee contains numerous bioactive compounds that actually make it valuable for our body. Again, a large amount of these bioactive compounds are antioxidants and they reverse the damage done by free radicals in your body.

Here’s a breakdown of the most important active ingredients found in coffee:

Caffeine

 

As you might have guessed, the number one active ingredient in coffee is caffeine. This is the part of your coffee that stimulates your central nervous system.

Chlorogenic acids

 

Another benefit that comes with coffee is blood sugar and metabolism stabilization. That is possible thanks to these polyphenol antioxidants. In addition, these antioxidants are linked with slowing down age-related mental decline.

Kahweol and Cafestol

 

Coffee lovers know that if you want to taste the coffee’s natural oil, you need to drink unfiltered coffee. But what not many know is the fact that that oil, contains high amounts of Kahweol and Cafestol. This means that your liver is protected and that you reduce the chances of getting liver cancer. However, too much of these ingredients and you may risk raising the LDL cholesterol.

Trigonelline

 

When coffee is exposed to high temperature, it releases niacin (nicotinic acid filled with vitamin B3). This compound is great for inhibiting bacteria growth in your mouth, thus reducing the risk of dental cavities development.

 

All of these active ingredients are great for your body and mind, but what we need to mention that their amount varies depending on the coffee strain and the way it’s prepared. Also, the effects of active ingredients also depend on how much you drink coffee during the day.

 

Brain and Coffee?

 

Caffeine effects come from how it interacts with adenosine receptors in your central nervous system. To understand this better, you must keep in mind that these receptors are what triggers your state of alert. Now, as the day goes by and we get more and more worn out, adenosine, which is a neurotransmitter that “blocks” the receptors from keeping you awake, builds up. Thus, you start feeling sleepy.

However, since both caffeine and adenosine compete for the same receptors, the more you add caffeine into your system, the more it blocks adenosine and keeps you awake.

 

What Caffeine Does to Your Brain? Boost Brain Function?

 

The short answer is “Yes, it does.” However, the longer answer would be “Yes, it does, but in short terms”. As we already said, it boosts your brain function by blocking the “sleepy” neurotransmitter known as adenosine. However, this is not the only brain function benefit you get from caffeine. In fact, this neurotransmitter also improves the releasing of serotonin, dopamine, and noradrenaline neurotransmitters. Here’s what that means:

  • Mood improvement
  • Faster reaction time
  • Improved vigilance
  • Higher attention
  • Improved learning
  • General mental function improvement

However, like with any other receptor in our central nervous system, tolerance can be developed over time. This means that in order to feel the effects of caffeine, after a while, you will have to drink more coffee than before.

Memory and Caffeine

There are mixed research results when it comes to how coffee affects our memory. Some researchers claim that short-term memory improvement is possible by using caffeine, while others claim that it doesn’t actually help with memory task performance.

But there are also those who claim that caffeine may improve long-term memory if used after learning something new. So, the bottom line is, if you want to improve your memory, drink coffee after a studying session because it makes the memories harder to forget.

Should You Be Drinking Coffee?

 

Yes, you should have coffee if you like it, but moderately. This way, it will be quite beneficial to your brain functions. Otherwise, you will suffer from sleep problems, heart palpitations, jitters, and anxiety.

Furthermore, people who regularly drink coffee have short-term benefits such as good mood, improved vigilance, improved reaction and learning time. While in the longer-run, coffee reduces your chances of getting Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s brain diseases.

In the end, for some, gallons of coffee won’t bring any side effects while for others, even a little amount of caffeine is not a good choice as they might overload their CNS. Thus, it is needless to say that some people should take it easy when it comes to coffee, pregnant women and kids especially.

For those of you who find coffee a necessity, feel free to moderately consume it and enjoy the brain benefits it brings.

 

 


How Smartphones Affect Mental Health
Category: Articles,Blog,Recommended,Self improvement Author: Feel Better Date: 2 months ago Comments: 0

So, how smartphones affect mental health and is Smartphone addiction a real thing? We are all aware of how smartphones have become an essential part of our everyday lives. It doesn’t matter where you are, work, school, home, out, or wherever we are, smartphones are usually in our hands most of our time. Unlike before, phones have literally become smarter and now you can check on your friends, news, or find some information by just touching the screen of your phone. This is an amazing technological achievement but it does not come without a price, unfortunately. Smartphone addiction! Keep on reading to find out more.

 

Dopamine Chasing

how smartphones affect mental health

Just as any other addiction, the craving for something (a smartphone in this case) is a direct result of brain chemical interplay, but mostly because of dopamine. As you might already know, this neurotransmitter is the “I feel great” message that is carried on through the brain synapses when we do something we really like. Dopamine is in charge of reward-seeking behavior and motivation, as well as for a neuroplastic change, which is the main culprit in forming addictive habits.

So, what does your Smartphone have to do with dopamine and neuroplastic change in your brain? Well, it’s like this: Every time your phone rings, or you get some other notification (Facebook, Viber, Messenger, and so on) you actually get a shot of dopamine from your brain. And, since dopamine is the “happy pill”, in time, in order to get more “shots” you start checking your phone more often, and end up with an addiction in the end. You lose interest in other activities and find yourself spending way too much time looking at your Smartphone and that can be damaging to your mental health.

Here’s why…

Anxiety

 

Believe it or not, many people sense severe anxiety when they don’t know where their Smartphone is. Or when the battery is empty and they can’t stay “connected”, or when there’s no Wi-Fi… Not being close to your Smartphone can even display withdrawal-like symptoms we see with heroin addicts.

Overuse of smart devices is a psychological dependency, with anxiety as most dominant.

 

Sleep Disturbances

Disrupted sleep is a common side effect of constant Smartphone use. When you use your Smartphone in bed, before bedtime, the blue light that comes off the phone’s screen is actually making your brain believe that it’s day time. This further causes a lack of melatonin hormone production, and you don’t feel sleepy despite how tired you are. In the long run, this is not good for neither your brain nor your body.

 

Relationship Stress

 

Despite the popular belief that Smartphones make us closer to each other, they are actually doing the opposite. People tend to check on their phones during dates, family meals, and so on… This only makes the other side (partner, family member, friend) feel left out and widens the gap. Being too attached to a phone creates problems in friendships and relationships. This further leads to isolation and mental stress.

Depression

You will probably be surprised by finding out that science links smartphone usage with rising teenage suicide and depression rates. There’s also a study saying that teenagers who use their smartphones all the time are not as happy as teens who spend most of their time without being glued to a screen.

However, since we live in an era that requires us to have access to information, being without a phone completely can also cause depression. The happiest teens and people, in general, are those who have an ideal balance between spending time with the phone and without it. A normal smartphone use would be about an hour daily.

 

Reduced Productivity and Attention

 

Don’t you find it hard to concentrate on something when your phone keeps beeping all the time? Whether we are talking about messages, Facebook or other social media notifications, phones are quite a distraction. Therefore, it’s hard not to link attention and productivity problems with smartphone use. And, the science agrees because there have been experiments proving that people who excessively use smartphones have less gray matter in brain areas that are in charge of attention.

 

Conclusion

So, how do you know that you have a problem when it comes to smartphones? How do you know that this gadget is affecting your mental health? If you become anxious when separated from your phone and happier when glued to the screen than when engaging real-life, you have a problem that can seriously affect your mental health.

However, not everything is so dark because all the research and studies are focused on excessive phone use not moderate to a minimum. Also, it is still not clear if mental health symptoms are caused by heavy smartphone usage or the other way around. It is possible that people with mental health problems such as depression or anxiety have the need to stay connected to social media because they are looking for attention… In any case, finding a balance between smartphones and real-life is the key as with everything else in life.

 

 

 


How to stop temper tantrums in 3 steps
Category: Articles,Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 3 months ago Comments: 0

Having problems with your toddler’s temper tantrums? Do you want to know how to stop temper tantrums in 3 super-simple steps? Keep on reading and you will find out how to prevent your child making a scene before it gets out of hand.

Some might call this approach Positive Parenting, or “Toddler Hack”, but the fact remains, whatever you call it, it ACTUALLY does the job! And that’s what’s most important, right?

 

“What the heck did I get myself into?!?”

You have to admit that every time your toddler throws a tantrum in public, this is the first thing that comes to your mind. In that moment, you start feeling like this whole parenting thing is not what you expected and that you are bad at it, right? It also makes you think (at least in that moment) “Did I really want this??”. Of course, that is just the heat of the moment and once it’s over you are back to loving the parenting but it does drain the emotional energy…

 

The key to stopping temper tantrums?

What you need to realize is that in order to stop your little angel from turning into a screaming, floor-crawling “demon”, you need to apply the “I don’t negotiate with terrorists” tactics before the tantrum starts.

Here is how to do it.

 

How to stop temper tantrums in 3 steps

How to stop temper tantrums

Yes, all it takes are 3 simple steps and you will quickly, simply, and effectively stop the tantrum from happening.

 

Step 1 – “Get on Your knees”

 

Of course, we don’t mean literally getting on your knees but rather going down to your child’s level. You have to understand that it’s easy for a kid to act mad when they practically don’t see your face “high in the clouds”. However, it is much harder to keep it pushing their way when there’s a serious grownup face right in front of them.

 

Step 2 – “Look me in the eye child!”

 

After going down to their level, it’s time to make eye to eye contact. This step will throw your kid off guard and most likely distract it and break the tantrum urge. You will, therefore, have a chance to start “negotiating”. Whether you know it or not, making eye contact with your kid makes it realize that you show respect. Sure, they don’t have a clue what respect is, but they understand the feeling they get from that moment and that is – respect. The chances are much higher, that your child will listen to reason.

 

3. Stay Serious but Calm

 

Once you got your kid’s attention, it’s time to use the “serious” voice. By serious, we don’t mean raising your tone or yelling. No, quite the opposite! What you need to do is to actually lower your voice, and have a calm and serious tone. Talk firmly, steady, and slow. You have to remain calm, otherwise, the situation will become much worse, FAST. If the child senses your anger, it will become angry as well and then all hell will get loose.

And, for the end, remember that when we talk about stopping a temper tantrum, less is definitely more…

If you want more useful tips, we recommend checking our YouTube channel as well.


How emotional neglect in childhood can affect your relationships?
Category: Articles,Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 3 months ago Comments: 0
emotional neglect in childhood

Have you ever wondered how emotional neglect in childhood can affect your relationships? Unfortunately, nothing good comes out of it. When someone goes through emotional neglect as a child, there will be many problems once that person becomes an adult – especially when it comes to having a normal relationship. The main problem happens when that person becomes emotionally invulnerable and lacks trust that other people will fulfill their emotional demands.

How emotional neglect in childhood affects romantic relationships?

Healthy adult intimate relationships are difficult to maintain if one side has been emotionally neglected as a child. Such a person has problems trying to connect with someone. They feel like they are going to be abandoned, therefore, they don’t respond well to support or care gestures.

Furthermore, because a parent that emotionally neglects its child, is usually inconsistent. Meaning, that child will have problems when it grows up in the form of not being able to trust its partner. He or she won’t know what to expect even if their partner seems quite trustworthy. There will always be fear that love and trust will be replaced with rejection or disappearance.

People who were emotionally neglected as kids always think that they are “not worthy of love”. Therefore, since they didn’t have love as kids, as adults, they think that something is wrong with them. They are convinced that they are “bad” or “damaged goods” because they weren’t loved.

 

Treatment?

When it comes to the treatment of people who were emotionally neglected as kids, the therapist needs to build a trusting, solid relationship. He sets the boundaries and explains what a dependable, nurturing relationship is supposed to look like. Also, there are strategies that help with coping with anxiety when they experience abandonment. In addition, cognitive-behavioral therapy helps with changing how they see love and worthiness.

 

How emotionally neglected people behave as parents?

emotional neglect in childhood

Many think that kids who were emotionally neglected, turn out to be same as their parents when they grow up and become parents themselves. However, it’s quite the opposite. In fact, emotionally neglected people know how painful it was for them as kids. Therefore, they do everything they can to become better than their parents. They become very involved and protective as parents, and always meet the emotional needs of their child.

There are also cases when people who were neglected during their childhood, have a fear of having kids of their own. They feel like they lack the necessary emotional skills and that they wouldn’t be able to love their kids as they should.

 

Is emotional neglect similar to emotional abuse?

emotional neglect in childhood

Abuse is similar to neglection in ways that both have damaging effects on the child in terms of both emotional and physical development later in life. In cases where emotional neglect is extreme, it can turn out to be even more damaging than abuse. In such cases, the child will fail to thrive or have serious problems with cognitive impairments.

If you ask a therapist, he will tell you that a neglection is a form of abuse. However, it is much dangerous because it can go on much longer. This is because there are no physical signs and kids tend to suffer in silence. The result? An emotionally neglected child won’t get the proper treatment in time and become more “damaged” in the long run.

 


What is Narcissistic personality disorder
Category: Articles,Public,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 3 months ago Comments: 0

Narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, is a disorder that causes people to have a distorted image of themselves. People who suffer from NPD have intense and unstable emotions and they are obsessed with power, prestige, personal adequacy, and vanity. They also have less empathy than most people and their sense of superiority is exaggerated.

This disorder is very closely related to egocentrism, where people think that their opinion and interests are the only things that matter. In addition, people with NPD in most cases don’t care about other people’s feelings. They don’t have empathy and don’t care about feelings other than their own.

Diagnosis

Narcissistic personality disorder

Before someone can be diagnosed with NPD, there’s a wide range of criteria that needs to be met. Though there are no lab tests that can determine that someone suffers from NPD, blood tests and X-rays will help in ruling out some other health problems that might cause such a condition.

Likewise, there is a wide range of personality disorders and people can suffer from more than one. But, when it comes to NPD, the diagnosis must have the following:

  • Eager for attention
  • Always jealous
  • Demand special treatment
  • Exaggerate their importance, talents, and achievements
  • Extremely sensitive and are easy to get hurt or feel rejected
  • Can’t maintain healthy relationships
  • Fantasize about their own power, success, intelligence, and appearance
  • Don’t feel regret when taking advantage of others to achieve their goals
  • Don’t feel empathy or understanding of other people’s feelings
  • Believe that only special people (other NPD people) understand how unique they are
  • Think that they are romantic
  • Don’t react well at all to criticism
  • Always demand positive reinforcement and praise from others
  • Expect that everyone has to agree with them
  • Always looking for “the best”

Narcissistic personality disorder treatment

For now, there is no cure for NPD. However, with proper psychotherapy, people who suffer from this disorder can learn to understand the problem and positively relate to others around them. They can learn how to change their attitude and have more constructed behavior. This leads to building self-esteem and having realistic expectation from both themselves and others.

There are 3 types of therapy for this disorder:

  • CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • Family therapy
  • Group therapy

For NPD treatment, all three therapies are necessary. But the CBT is the most important one because patients learn how to identify their negative behaviors and beliefs. Also, they learn how to replace negativity with positive, healthful thoughts and actions.

Causes

Doctors haven’t discovered yet what causes the NPD. Some say that this disorder can be related to very high parental expectations during childhood, or abuse, neglect or over-pampering or so-called toxic parenting styles. Also, it can come from growing up with parents or family members with manipulative behaviors and learning from them.

Likewise, if a child learns that being vulnerable is completely not acceptable, it may not develop the ability to understand or feel other people’s feelings as a grownup.

Narcissistic personality disorder complications

People who suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder and don’t treat it, have higher chances of becoming alcoholics or drug abusers. Or suffer from depression as well, have problems with relationships, school, work, and even start having suicidal thoughts.

In addition, studies have shown that male NPD patients have a higher level of cortisol in their bloodstream. This means that they are constantly under stress. Also, a higher level of cortisol means that cardiovascular problems can develop.


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