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Angry Love – Is This a problem for Your Relationship?
Category: Blog,Recommended,Self improvement Author: Feel Better Date: 2 weeks ago Comments: 0

So many times, your spouse has treated you badly and you cannot forget those situations. His harsh words and thoughtless actions always come back to you. The love you felt for him has disappeared over time and now your heart is full of bitterness. You no longer know the person you married because he is angry most of the time. People who are in the so-called “angry love” are in a problem without really realizing it…

But there is a cure for your problems. You should consider why it’s a good idea to delete that anger as soon as possible.

Prolonged anger can ruin a marriage. Why do we say that? Because it undermines trust, love, faithfulness, and other beautiful qualities that underlie any good marriage. Prolonged anger is not the result of a problem that has appeared in a marriage. It is a long-term problem that can endanger marriage. If you have been angry for a long time and you feel offended, you are causing pain to yourself. It is not wise to carry such feelings within you. It’s like kicking yourself and then expecting someone else to feel the pain.

“A family member that you are angry at may be feeling well, enjoying life, and has no idea what bothers you,” says American psychotherapist Mark Sichel in one of his books dealing with family relationships.

WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM THIS?

“Long-term anger or “angry love” does a lot more harm to you than to the person you are angry at,” Sichel says. You decide whether to allow your anger to overwhelm you. Some might disagree with this claim. They say, “My husband made me angry. He is guilty of me feeling that way! “Or” My wife was upset. I can’t help it!”

A person who thinks so is focused on something that cannot be influenced – another person’s behavior. Of course, we cannot influence what others will say or do, but we can influence how we respond to their behavior. Instead of being offended and angry, we can think about how to maturely deal with the problem.

WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU ARE IN ANGRY LOVE SITUATION?

Don’t blame one another. It is easy to point the finger to another person and say that it is their fault that you are angry and disappointed. Keep in mind that it is up to you to allow yourself to be angry or to forgive the one who hurt you. Be honest with yourself. Of course, a conversation is the only cure. You don’t need to discuss too long and widely about every situation between the two of you.

Keep in mind what it means to forgive. The original Greek term, which in the Bible usually translates to “forgive,” literally means “to let go, to disregard.” Therefore, forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you have to forget the insults or that you should act as if a bad event never happened. Sometimes that means only to stop thinking about what happened and let life go on. Be aware that prolonged anger can do more harm to your health and marriage than the incident that caused it.

PROPOSAL

Next week take a look at your husband or wife and find three beautiful traits. At the end of the week, write them down on a piece of paper and tell your spouse why you appreciate these qualities. By focusing on what is positive about the person you are married to, it will be easier to get rid of anger and resentment.


How to End a Dead-end Relationship in 4 Steps
Category: Blog,Motivation,Self improvement Author: Feel Better Date: 2 weeks ago Comments: 0

If you find your relationship filled with passive-aggressiveness, apathy, negative energy, criticism, you are more than more likely stuck in a dead-end relationship. And, just as the name suggests, it leads to nowhere but pain and suffering. So, how to end a dead-end relationship and move on with your life and fill it with positive energy? It’s actually easier than you think, you just need to follow these 4 steps.

How to end a dead-end relationship – Get ready for the pain!

Whether we are talking about a great relationship that turned bad or a dead-end relationship without a future, a breakup is always painful. But it’s not the end of the world and you will survive it and get on with your life after a while. However, there are certain steps if you want to come out as a winner and not get stuck with that bad feeling and second thoughts for years to come. Don’t worry, it is completely normal to second guess your breakup and the following questions will come to your mind. But remember what you read after those thoughts and it will get better faster than you thought.

  • “Am I making a mistake because I love her/him?!” You may love your ex-partner but does she/he love you the way you deserve? Was that “love” a healthy love? Did your partner really see you for who you really are? Were you really understood?
  • “I miss him/her so much…” Sure, you miss your partner but how did you feel when you were together? We don’t mean the good times but the times you felt bad. Was your partner good to you all the time?
  • “What will I do if she/he finds someone else and I am completely out of the picture?” Okay, your ex-partner might find someone else who will put up with the behavior you experienced. So what? Do you really want to go through that again?

When you want to get out of a relationship that is bad for you, don’t second guess your determination. If you start re-evaluating your decision, you will most likely avoid the inevitable and keep suffering. But why avoid a step that has to happen sooner or later? Why not start feeling better sooner?

Block all contact

After you take the hard step of breaking up, you MUST block any possible contact. This includes social media, messengers, phone calls, or anything else that might make you second guess your decision and end up in the same dead-end relationship again. Here’s what you shouldn’t do and what you should do afterward:

  • Hit the Block button on all possible social media and messengers such as Viber, what’s up, and all other ways you used to communicate electronically before
  • Don’t avoid saying hello or good day or morning if you have to cross paths on your way to work or even if you work together but don’t engage in any means of communication other than necessary
  • Don’t get hooked to “crisis” luring, your ex is just trying to manipulate you and plays on your good person side
  • Do give yourself credit for finding a solution on how to end a dead-end relationship because it isn’t easy, yet you managed it!

Stay Strong

Most people that want to end a bad relationship end up staying in it because the other side is manipulative and “shows” remorse and change their bad behavior when they “smell” the end is near. Each time you get manipulated bad into a dead-end relationship you will feel demoralized and even go on a self-destructive path.

You need to stay strong! You know that this relationship is bad for you and that the other side won’t change. Therefore, use a trick that will help you stay focused on the goal. Create and use the “breakup” mantra that will be your guidelight in the “hours of darkness”. For some people, repeating “He (or she) might be good for someone else, but I don’t want that! I don’t need this in my life!”

Remember who you really are

Instead of feeling bad and getting stuck on second-guessing your breakup choice, you need to remember who you are. Feel good about yourself and the fact that you had the courage and strength to end up a toxic relationship and put a toxic person behind you. By just realizing that there was nothing wrong with you and that you should be valued more, you have made a huge step towards getting over this bad period of your life. Now, it’s time to turn your head in the direction of the future and focus on yourself! You’ve definitely earned it!


4 Most Common Mistakes Parents Make and Hurt Child’s Self-Esteem
Category: Articles,Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 2 weeks ago Comments: 0
Mistakes Parents Make Child’s Self-Esteem

Everything in our lives revolves around our self-esteem. Self-esteem is also known as self-respect and self-value and both refer to the same thing – to how we see ourselves. Whether we realize it or not, how we see ourselves is the key factor in everything we do. And, it influences our decisions greatly. When we have strong self-esteem, every challenge comes easier and we are not afraid to try new things because we believe in ourselves. The same goes for kids. The higher their self-esteem is, the more courage they will have and more they will believe in themselves. For that reason, You, as a parent, need to help your child build its self-esteem and not be an obstacle. Of course, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent and we all make mistakes sometimes. That is why we’ve decided to create this article that will point out the 4 most common mistakes parents make and hurt a child’s self-esteem so that you can avoid them and help your child believe in itself.

4 Most Common Mistakes Parents Make and Hurt Child’s Self-Esteem

Here are the 4 mistakes you should avoid as a parent so that you don’t hurt your child’s self-esteem development.

Hitting and Yelling

The most damaging thing you can do for your child’s self-esteem is to yell at it and hit it. By doing this, you are only showing that you can’t control your impulses and that you want to show how powerful you are. You also “teach” your child that it’s okay to display dominance this way. Is this really the message you want to send to your child? Of course not.

Okay, as we said, nobody’s perfect and we all lose our nerve from time to time. A parent can put up with kids to a certain point and then it’s either finding the right approach or letting all hell get lose. However, keep in mind that if you allow “all hell to get lose” you are making your child feel diminished. When parents hit and yell at their kids, their ability to develop a sense of a constructive conversation that is needed for solving a problem. All they will know is that they are not able to sort a problem. And that they need to yell and hit so that they hide the fact that they DON’T BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES…

Holding a Grudge

Every parent will experience its child behaving badly and having a conflict. But, it’s important to know that once the conflict is resolved, the worst thing you can do is to keep reminding your child about it. Kids should be allowed to be kids and they have the privilege of having a fresh start. By reminding your child of its bad behavior, you are only teaching it that holding a grudge is the right way to think.

Therefore, you need to teach your child that after learning from our mistakes, they stay in the past. The more you praise your child for its positive behavior after the incident, the more will it build its self-esteem. And, the chances that the same mistake happens again will be drastically reduced. Think about it…

Guilt Shaming

Asking your child from time to time to put itself in someone else’s situation is okay if the situation is appropriate for a “guilt shame”. However, doing this constantly for pretty much everything your child does will take a devastating toll. Making your child feel bad about its mistakes, feelings, emotions only pushes your child away from you.

For example, if your kid does something, he/she shouldn’t, saying “How do you think this makes me feel?” or “I hope you realize how much you’ve hurt me with your actions!” you are making your child feel guilty. And doing this often is not good at all.

What you need to realize that your “hurt ego” is not the most important thing in this situation. Instead of making your child feel guilty, try and find a way to calmly explain why its actions are not good and how he/she should have handled the situation. Allow your child to open up and ask for your opinion every time it has a problem instead of doing something behind your back just so that your feelings are not hurt.

Sarcasm

Mistakes Parents Child’s Self-Esteem - sarcasm

Each time you say something that you don’t really mean but want to point out the opposite of what you just said, you are being sarcastic. Kids can detect that sarcastic tone and it makes them feel ashamed of their “poor” choices. You are not teaching your child to make the right choices this way. On the contrary, you are creating a barrier between you and your kid and effective communication becomes harder and harder. Pay attention to your tone and don’t be sarcastic. Parents should not make such mistakes and hurt their child’s self-esteem. There are much better, friendly, and more effective ways of letting your child realize that it could have made a better choice.


Why failure might be good for you? How to take advantage of your own mistakes
Category: Blog,Motivation,Self improvement Author: Feel Better Date: 3 weeks ago Comments: 0

Most people tend to give up after they’ve had a failure. However, it’s important to know that failures are a normal part of everyone’s past. There isn’t a single person on this planet that made everything perfect from the first try. Everyone makes mistakes but it’s important to know why failure might be good for you. Here are 8 tips that help with using your failures to your advantage and coming out even stronger.

Let others know that you’ve made a mistake

If you’ve just made a mistake, keeping it to yourself and hoping that it will just go away and that no one will notice is not something you want to do. It’s inevitable that someone will find out about your failure and things will only get worse then. The equation is simple – when someone else points out to your mistake, it becomes two mistakes… Then, others will wonder why you didn’t tell them yourself and that leads to being seen as a coward or being ignorant. Gather the courage to speak up and let others that it was your mistake and that you want to fix it. You will be appreciated more afterward.

Don’t make excuses, explain what happened

By becoming the owner of your own mistakes makes you more confident, accountable, and shows integrity. However, you have to stick to the facts! Instead of making an excuse such as “We lost the contract because I got stuck in traffic and I didn’t have time to work on the contract.” say “We lost the contract because I missed the deadline”. Take responsibility for your mistakes.

Fix it yourself don’t wait for others to clean your mess

Taking responsibility for your own mistakes is one thing. Sure, it is admirable and it will make people see you in a better light. However, you can’t leave it at that! Your next step after your failure is the true test of your capabilities. Instead of backing down and expecting others to fix the mess you created, have a plan that will offer a solution. It will be even better if before you come out clean about your failure, that you’ve already taken steps that will solve the problem caused by your mistake.

Learn from your failure and then you will realize why failure might be good for you

Once you’ve managed to fix the problem caused by your mistake, you need to learn from it. Make a plan that will prevent you from making the same mistake again and stick with it. This is the best way to prove that you’ve learned from your mistakes and that you are reliable.

Don’t let the mistake take control over you

The most important thing about failures is that you don’t let them lose your confidence. This is the mindset you want to avoid at all costs. By allowing your mistake to take control over you, you will become handicaped each time you make a mistake, whether it’s a small or a huge one. Take some time to let the lesson of your mistake sink in. And, remember to get back on the horse as soon as the lesson is absorbed because the more you wait, the bigger are the chances you lose your confidence.

Get Perspective

People skilled at getting back in the saddle right after a mistake are more likely to blame the failure on something that they did (a specific oversight or wrong course of action) rather than something that they ARE. On the other hand, those who don’t handle their own mistakes well tend to blame mistakes on their lack of intelligence, or their laziness,  or other personal qualities. This implies that they had no control over the situation, and they are more likely to avoid risk-taking in the future.

Stay optimistic

One British study of 576 serial entrepreneurs found that they were much more likely to expect success than entrepreneurs who gave up after their first failure. The very sense of optimism is what prevents us from thinking that we are a complete failure of a person. Stay optimistic, try to see each mistake as a building block to your ultimate success.

Be Persistent

Persistance is actually optimism in action. Optimism is a positive feeling, while persistence is what you do with that feeling. While those people who are not optimistic decide that they’ve had enough after a mistake and quit, persistent people, stay optimistic and shake off those toxic feelings and get back in the saddle and try again. People who are persistent never lose their optimism and that makes them special and great at rising from mistakes.

 


The healing practice of self-hypnosis
Category: Blog,Motivation,Self improvement Author: Feel Better Date: 3 weeks ago Comments: 0

For most people hypnosis is a “dark and scary practice”. When you are hypnotized, you are completely unaware of what happens to you and that is scary, right? No one is happy with the fact that someone else has complete control of you and can make you do things you wouldn’t do. But is hypnosis really that scary? Is it really like we see it in the movies? But what if you were able to hypnotize yourself, by yourself? What if you were able to help yourself with your problems with self-hypnosis? Yes, this exists and the healing practice of self-hypnosis can do wonders for both physical and mental issues.

How to learn to use the healing practice of self-hypnosis

Like any new skill, becoming good at self-hypnosis takes time and practice. You have to be committed to your goal, and train at least 2 or 3 times each day. Soon enough, it will become a part of you. It’s all about training your mind, and the good thing is, you don’t have to have perfect conditions, there’s no medical procedure involved, and you DON’T need drugs. Here are 6 steps you need to follow:

Step #1 – Find a quiet place

healing practice of self-hypnosis

Since we live in the modern era where finding a quiet place might be difficult, this step could turn up to be harder than it sounds. However, once you’ve found your quiet, safe place without your phone, kids, pets, or anything that might distract you, you can begin. Just remember that you have to support your back by sitting in a stable chair or couch and that there’s nothing around you that you might hurt yourself with if you happen to lose balance. There’s also something reassuring in knowing that you are completely safe and that helps you relax, which is the key to self-hypnosis.

Step #2 – Take the correct position

Self-hypnosis starts with the right sitting position. Your legs should be uncrossed with your hands placed in your lap. Once you feel comfortable in this position, you should start taking deep breaths. Once you’ve managed to focus on breathing correctly, close your eyes.

Step #3 – Clear your mind from thoughts

healing practice of self-hypnosis

Take a few minutes to just focus on your breathing. Visualize your breaths as they come in and out. Clear your mind from any other thought besides breathing. Each time a thought sneaks up on you, push it out by focusing on your breaths.

Step #4 – Sink in

When you manage to become fully relaxed and there’s nothing on your mind except breathing thoughts, allow yourself to become “heavy”. You will feel how your body starts feeling heavier and heavier and it “sinks in” the chair or couch. Relax and let that feeling take over.

Step #5 – Positive Mantra

Once your body sunk in wherever you are sitting and you feel completely relaxed, add a positive mantra to your self-hypnosis process. This mantra should be something like “I am relaxed, I am calm, I am in control”. Repeat this mantra until it starts echoing in your mind and you feel relaxed and positive (it should be done for 5 minutes and use a timer in the beginning)

Step #6 – 10, 9, 8, 7…

healing practice of self-hypnosis

Once the 5-minute mantra is done (you will learn to feel when 5 minutes are up in time) you will start feeling how your body is exiting the sinking in feeling. In that moment, focus on each part of your body and visualize how you are sending positive energy to your limbs. When you feel every part of your body “energized” take 3 more deep breaths and start counting back from 10. When you reach 1, slowly open your eyes and allow that positive sensation to sink in while you sit there a few more minutes. That’s it!

The healing practice of self-hypnosis -This is not meditation

Although the process sounds very much like meditation, self-hypnosis isn’t the same. In self-hypnosis practice, your mind is engaged more actively, but in a more centered and calm way. In case you can’t find 5 minutes each day for this practice, or you can’t focus for that long, start with fewer minutes and eventually work up as you progress. You will see that after a while, that positive energy you feel while practicing self-hypnosis extends to everyday situations. You will feel more relaxed and positive on a daily basis and you will also buffer out the negative effects of stress, worry, and anxiety.


Therapy for couples – 6 signs that tell your relationship needs a therapist?
Category: Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 3 weeks ago Comments: 0

For most people, getting married means living in a romantic fairytale. It all starts when you meet the “right” person, then you get married, and you live happily ever after… However, unlike in fairytales, real relationships need work, plenty of work to actually work out. So, how do you know if you are working enough on your relationship? How do you know if your relationship needs therapy for couples? Here are 6 most common signs that your relationship needs a therapist.

You don’t talk

therapy for couples

By “you don’t talk” we don’t mean not talking for a few hours after a verbal confrontation. No, we mean not communicating enough or at all. In most cases, problems in relationships start when the couple simply isn’t communicating. If this is the case with your relationship, know that couples therapist can help you by presenting new ways of couple communication. Once you learn how to talk to each other, your relationship will move in a positive direction.

When your “talking” is always negative

Each communication that leaves one of the partners insecure, feeling judged or ashamed, or making him/her feeling that they need to get out of this conversation, is negative communication. Likewise, it’s not always about what one says but about how he or she says it. The tone of the voice is likewise extremely important. If the tone of the voice is negative, communication can, and usually does escalate into emotional abuse.

When one of the partners is afraid to talk

If you are scared to even bring a relationship, or other problems up, your relationship needs counseling. It’s not a healthy relationship if you are afraid to bring up things that bother you, whether we are talking about love or money issues, or some small things that annoy you. This is where therapy for couples comes useful. And this is where a therapist teaches the couple how to become clear about their problems. It’s all about helping the other side understand what you are talking about without feeling threatened.

Financial unfaithfulness is also a sign for therapy for couples

Keeping financial secrets from your partner is known as financial unfaithfulness and it’s in the same basket as sexual infidelity. This is not a sign of a normal relationship and it should be discussed. In most cases the partner that keeps secrets about how much he/she spends doesn’t want to admit this, therefore, professional help is needed.

Sex life is in the gutter

It’s completely normal for couples to have a less passionate sex life after they’ve been living together for a few years. But, if it’s sudden and significant, then you most likely have a problem in your relationship. On the other hand, a sudden increase in sex life can also be an alarm. This may mean that the partner that all of a sudden has “bigger appetites” for sex is trying to compensate for something he/she is doing and makes them feel bad about it.

Arguing over the same little things over and over again

Each person comes with trigger behaviors. By this, we mean specific things that “blow their cap”, which in most cases wouldn’t bother other people. It doesn’t have to be something dramatic. On the contrary, it usually comes down to small things such as drinking from the cardboard, leaving the seat toilet up or down, not watering the plants, and so on and so forth. We are sure you know what we mean. However, the problem here is that in most cases, the other side doesn’t even know that the small things they do are causing so much stress. And that’s why they don’t understand why arguments begin about such “trivial” things. This is where couples therapists help by discussing these issues and figuring out the real root of the problems.


Nature and mental health issues – Is there a link?
Category: Blog,MENTAL HEALTH Author: Feel Better Date: 3 weeks ago Comments: 0
Happy couple embracing at sunset in the nature

Doctors have long ago determined that regular outings in the good old Mature Nature is a major boost for one’s health. If you are a parent, then you know how your kids feel better and have fewer problems with asthma, obesity, as well as an improved immune system and sleeping patterns. But is there a link between nature and mental health issues? Does nature help with those problems as well? It seems that there is a link because a plethora of scientific researches and articles that talk about this link have emerged in the last decade.

All these studies point to the same fact – nature has a tremendous impact on our mental health and people with mental issues should spend as much time in nature as possible. Therefore, we ask you to forget about the size of your home and think more about the size of your yard or if you are closer to the forest instead of the concrete jungle.

Nature and mental health issues – Why is it important to go out regularly?

Nature and mental health issues

For now, most of the researches and studies that are looking for a link between nature and mental health are focused on kids. And, every single one of those studies shows that the more time kids spend in the great outdoors, the happier and healthier they are. On the other hand, kids that don’t spend much time outside, tend to suffer both physically and mentally.

A certain study that was conducted on almost million kids showed that kids who don’t have access to nature, or green spaces at least, have a 55% higher chance of suffering from a psychiatric illness later in their lives. In addition, there are even studies that suggest that do spend plenty of time in nature have a lower risk of suffering from ADHD.

The reality?

Despite all the studies and proofs from these studies, one fact remains the same – As technology evolves and as our lifestyle becomes faster and faster, both kids and adults spend less and less time in the outdoors. We tend to spend more time in front of the TV or computer or Smartphones, 3 times more time than being outside to be precise. Thus, the percentage of mental health issues goes up every year.

Does it work for adults?

Just as for the kids, the same goes for adults as well. The less time you spend in nature, the more stress “eats” you out. Also, the higher are the chances of suffering from mental health issues. A simple thing such as a walk through a forest could benefit your mental health tremendously. While you walk in nature, your stress hormone levels, such as cortisol, become lower. Likewise, nature is one of the best buffers against stress and it’s damaging effects, and, for example, high blood pressure is just one of them. In addition, the more you spend time in the great outdoors, the lower are your chances of suffering from depression and anxiety.

Furthermore, we also have to mention that there’s a strong correlation between socioeconomic status and mental health. And there’s also a link between the lack of nature and poorer areas.

So what can You do?

The answer is simple, get out and spend time in nature as much as possible. Makes sure that your kids spend a few hours in the park or woods every single day. Only this way can you make sure that the stress in you is counteracted by the healing powers of nature. In the unfortunate event that your city lacks green areas, talk to your neighbors, write a petition to your local council and ask for more parks and green areas. You never know, your words might get through to someone who can help all of you build a greener, healthier surrounding, and future.


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