So many times, your spouse has treated you badly and you cannot forget those situations. His harsh words and thoughtless actions always come back to you. The love you felt for him has disappeared over time and now your heart is full of bitterness. You no longer know the person you married because he is angry most of the time. People who are in the so-called “angry love” are in a problem without really realizing it…
But there is a cure for your problems. You should consider why it’s a good idea to delete that anger as soon as possible.
Prolonged anger can ruin a marriage. Why do we say that? Because it undermines trust, love, faithfulness, and other beautiful qualities that underlie any good marriage. Prolonged anger is not the result of a problem that has appeared in a marriage. It is a long-term problem that can endanger marriage. If you have been angry for a long time and you feel offended, you are causing pain to yourself. It is not wise to carry such feelings within you. It’s like kicking yourself and then expecting someone else to feel the pain.
“A family member that you are angry at may be feeling well, enjoying life, and has no idea what bothers you,” says American psychotherapist Mark Sichel in one of his books dealing with family relationships.
WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM THIS?
“Long-term anger or “angry love” does a lot more harm to you than to the person you are angry at,” Sichel says. You decide whether to allow your anger to overwhelm you. Some might disagree with this claim. They say, “My husband made me angry. He is guilty of me feeling that way! “Or” My wife was upset. I can’t help it!”
A person who thinks so is focused on something that cannot be influenced – another person’s behavior. Of course, we cannot influence what others will say or do, but we can influence how we respond to their behavior. Instead of being offended and angry, we can think about how to maturely deal with the problem.
WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU ARE IN ANGRY LOVE SITUATION?
Don’t blame one another. It is easy to point the finger to another person and say that it is their fault that you are angry and disappointed. Keep in mind that it is up to you to allow yourself to be angry or to forgive the one who hurt you. Be honest with yourself. Of course, a conversation is the only cure. You don’t need to discuss too long and widely about every situation between the two of you.
Keep in mind what it means to forgive. The original Greek term, which in the Bible usually translates to “forgive,” literally means “to let go, to disregard.” Therefore, forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you have to forget the insults or that you should act as if a bad event never happened. Sometimes that means only to stop thinking about what happened and let life go on. Be aware that prolonged anger can do more harm to your health and marriage than the incident that caused it.
Next week take a look at your husband or wife and find three beautiful traits. At the end of the week, write them down on a piece of paper and tell your spouse why you appreciate these qualities. By focusing on what is positive about the person you are married to, it will be easier to get rid of anger and resentment.