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How to survive a breakup – Don’t break after a heartbreak
Category: MENTAL HEALTH,Motivation,Recommended,Self improvement Author: Feel Better Date: 3 days ago Comments: 0
how to survive a breakup

There’s nothing like a broken heart that makes a person do things out of character. Breakups are painful, they bring deep grief, and make a distorted image of the relationship in our brain. However, not everything is so black. You just need to know how to survive a breakup and not break after a broken heart.

This article explains what breakups do to our brain and how to overcome it and come out even stronger. You will see some practical ideas and advice for going through a heartbreak.

How to survive a breakup – Defining the breakup

“Heartbroken” is a widely used term. For example, people say that “their heart got broken after the match”, but the pain they felt doesn’t even come close to romantic heartbreak. There’s nothing like a broken heart making someone do crazy stuff they normally wouldn’t do. You’ve probably heard tons of stories about people doing desperate things after they’ve gone through a breakup. For example, becoming stalkers or texting the ex like insane. Those are all grief responses and it’s actually to be expected considering what happens in the brain in such situations.

According to studies that used MRI scans of people who recently went through a breakup, when we relive our breakup, we have the same brain activity as addicts when they need a “fix” during a withdrawal. Thus, the desperate actions in hope that we will get a grain of that “love” we had before.

What does a breakup do to our brain?

how to survive a breakup

When we go through a breakup, our brain is no longer in charge and the heart takes over. This makes us lose control over our decisions. The thing is, our brain can’t tell the difference between physical and emotional pain. For our brain, pain is a pain. Therefore, by making you relive your relationship over and over, your brain hopes that you will learn from your mistakes so that you don’t go through that pain again. It’s like the instincts you get after burning yourself on hot things. Your brain will show you mental images of the good times because they hurt the most. And it wants to make sure you don’t forget the pain and not make the same mistakes. But, in order to regain control of your life, you need to learn how to override those natural brain responses.

How to fix a broken heart?

In order to fix a broken heart, you need to correct the distorted image of the relationship your brain keeps serving you. You can do that by making a list of all the bad things you went through while being in that relationship. This will counterbalance the “sweet pain” circle your brain trapped you in.

You need to set your goals clearly – Getting your ex out of your system and getting rid of the pain that comes with memories. Unfortunately, our brain works the opposite way and it will fight you by making you think about the sweet moments. You have to resist those thoughts and avoid “stalking” your ex on social media and looking at old pictures.

Other problems you might stumble upon are all the reminders of the past relationship that are everywhere. Your home, your mutual friends, the restaurants, certain spots in the city, those are all the reminders that you don’t need right now.

That’s why you have to be persistent in avoiding everything that reminds you of your ex. It is not easy but with commitment and being careful where you go and who you see, it is possible. In addition, it’s extremely important to talk to your friends, though keep in mind that you shouldn’t burden just one person with your emotional pain but “spread” it over one or two more friends.

  • Most importantly, if you want to survive a breakup, you have to ask yourself the following questions:
  • Who were you before you met that person?
  • Who do you want to be now?
  • What aspects of yourself did you have to change for that relationship?
  • Which parts of yourself do you want to recover?

Once you have these answers, it will be clearer what you want from your life and moving on will come naturally.

Final thoughts

Once you start feeling a little better, don’t let your guard down because your heart and mind can be sneaky sometimes. Keep reminding yourself of the negative aspects of your former relationship. Work hard on filling in the gaps the relationship left in your life with positive things such as going out with friends or new hobbies.

Furthermore, replace your ex with friends when you want to watch “that TV show” you watched together. Or, when you were working out outside together. Just don’t give up on activities that you did together because you want them to be “your” activities now, not “the stuff we did together”.

Finally, think about what you’ve learned from this breakup. What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about relationships in general? You will be surprised how much we can learn from our mistakes. we just need to allow ourselves to listen to reason. Once you manage that, you will come out much stronger than before. And you definitely won’t make the same mistakes again.

 


What is major depressive disorder?
Category: MENTAL HEALTH,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 3 days ago Comments: 0
What is major depressive disorder

For us humans, sadness comes as a natural part of ourselves. It’s normal for people to feel depressed and sad when going through a rough part of their lives. It’s not easy going through stressful events such as a divorce or loss of a loved one. But in most cases, these feelings go away shortly. However, people who have an intense and persistent feeling of sadness for longer time periods might suffer from MDD. What is major depressive disorder, or MDD?

This disorder is also characterized as a significant medical condition and is referred to as clinical depression. And it affects many areas of life and various physical functions such as sleep and appetite, as well as behavior and mood. Those who suffer from this disorder have trouble performing everyday activities, lose interest in their favorite activities, and sometimes feel like life isn’t worth living.

Unfortunately, there are people who don’t know that this disorder can be treated, and live like that every day. Most of those people would have gone better if they had psychotherapy, proper medications, or other successful symptom management methods.

What are the symptoms of major depressive disorder?

What is major depressive disorder

MDD diagnosis is based on the symptoms that affect behavior patterns and feelings. People who suspect having MDD are usually either asked certain questions or they have to fill out a questionnaire to determine if they have symptoms.

In order for someone to be diagnosed with major depressive disorder, the symptom criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders have to be met. According to this manual’s criteria, 5 or more of the following symptoms have to be met and they have to be experienced at least once a day for a period of more than 2 weeks:

  • Feeling of sadness or irritability most of the day, almost every day
  • Less interest in most activities once enjoyed
  • Sudden gain or loss of weight or changes in appetite
  • Trouble falling asleep or the need to sleep more than usual
  • Feelings of restlessness
  • Lack of energy and the feeling of unusual tiredness
  • Feeling of worthlessness or guiltiness, often about things that wouldn’t normally cause such feelings
  • Difficulty with making decisions, thinking, or concentrating
  • Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Causes of major depressive disorder

The science doesn’t have an answer to the causes of a major depressive disorder. However, factors such as a combination of stress and genes create brain chemistry that changes the balance of hormones. This contributes to the development of MDD.

  • There are also other triggers:
  • Drug or alcohol abuse
  • Hypothyroidism or cancer
  • Particular types of medications, steroids included

Major depressive disorder treatment

The usual treatment for major depressive disorder includes psychotherapy and medication. But certain lifestyle changes help ease certain symptoms as well. On the other hand, those with severe disorders or thoughts of harming themselves may need to stay in for hospital treatment. Additionally, an outpatient treatment program is needed if MDD symptoms don’t improve after psychotherapy and medication.

Medication

Often start treatment for MDD, prescribed by care providers are antidepressant medications, in most cases, it’s SSRIs (short for selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). These antidepressants help inhibit the breakdown of serotonin in the brain. The result is higher amounts of this neurotransmitter, thus a happier state of mind.

Psychotherapy

Talk therapy, psychological therapy, or simply psychotherapy is an effective treatment for major depressive disorder. Psychotherapy includes meeting with a therapist on a regular basis is and talking about the condition and issues. This helps with:

  • Adjusting to a crisis or stressful events
  • Replacing negative behaviors and beliefs with healthy, positive ones
  • Improving communication skills
  • Find better ways for coping with challenges and solving problems
  • Increasing self-esteem
  • Regaining control of life and sense of satisfaction

Lifestyle changes

Medication and talk therapy do most of the healing job, but positive changes in lifestyle help improve the major depressive disorder symptoms as well. When it comes to these changes, it comes down to:

  • Eating right
  • Getting plenty of exercises
  • Sleeping well

And that’s it!


Angry Love – Is This a problem for Your Relationship?
Category: Blog,Recommended,Self improvement Author: Feel Better Date: 2 weeks ago Comments: 0

So many times, your spouse has treated you badly and you cannot forget those situations. His harsh words and thoughtless actions always come back to you. The love you felt for him has disappeared over time and now your heart is full of bitterness. You no longer know the person you married because he is angry most of the time. People who are in the so-called “angry love” are in a problem without really realizing it…

But there is a cure for your problems. You should consider why it’s a good idea to delete that anger as soon as possible.

Prolonged anger can ruin a marriage. Why do we say that? Because it undermines trust, love, faithfulness, and other beautiful qualities that underlie any good marriage. Prolonged anger is not the result of a problem that has appeared in a marriage. It is a long-term problem that can endanger marriage. If you have been angry for a long time and you feel offended, you are causing pain to yourself. It is not wise to carry such feelings within you. It’s like kicking yourself and then expecting someone else to feel the pain.

“A family member that you are angry at may be feeling well, enjoying life, and has no idea what bothers you,” says American psychotherapist Mark Sichel in one of his books dealing with family relationships.

WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM THIS?

“Long-term anger or “angry love” does a lot more harm to you than to the person you are angry at,” Sichel says. You decide whether to allow your anger to overwhelm you. Some might disagree with this claim. They say, “My husband made me angry. He is guilty of me feeling that way! “Or” My wife was upset. I can’t help it!”

A person who thinks so is focused on something that cannot be influenced – another person’s behavior. Of course, we cannot influence what others will say or do, but we can influence how we respond to their behavior. Instead of being offended and angry, we can think about how to maturely deal with the problem.

WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU ARE IN ANGRY LOVE SITUATION?

Don’t blame one another. It is easy to point the finger to another person and say that it is their fault that you are angry and disappointed. Keep in mind that it is up to you to allow yourself to be angry or to forgive the one who hurt you. Be honest with yourself. Of course, a conversation is the only cure. You don’t need to discuss too long and widely about every situation between the two of you.

Keep in mind what it means to forgive. The original Greek term, which in the Bible usually translates to “forgive,” literally means “to let go, to disregard.” Therefore, forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you have to forget the insults or that you should act as if a bad event never happened. Sometimes that means only to stop thinking about what happened and let life go on. Be aware that prolonged anger can do more harm to your health and marriage than the incident that caused it.

PROPOSAL

Next week take a look at your husband or wife and find three beautiful traits. At the end of the week, write them down on a piece of paper and tell your spouse why you appreciate these qualities. By focusing on what is positive about the person you are married to, it will be easier to get rid of anger and resentment.


4 Most Common Mistakes Parents Make and Hurt Child’s Self-Esteem
Category: Articles,Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 2 weeks ago Comments: 0
Mistakes Parents Make Child’s Self-Esteem

Everything in our lives revolves around our self-esteem. Self-esteem is also known as self-respect and self-value and both refer to the same thing – to how we see ourselves. Whether we realize it or not, how we see ourselves is the key factor in everything we do. And, it influences our decisions greatly. When we have strong self-esteem, every challenge comes easier and we are not afraid to try new things because we believe in ourselves. The same goes for kids. The higher their self-esteem is, the more courage they will have and more they will believe in themselves. For that reason, You, as a parent, need to help your child build its self-esteem and not be an obstacle. Of course, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent and we all make mistakes sometimes. That is why we’ve decided to create this article that will point out the 4 most common mistakes parents make and hurt a child’s self-esteem so that you can avoid them and help your child believe in itself.

4 Most Common Mistakes Parents Make and Hurt Child’s Self-Esteem

Here are the 4 mistakes you should avoid as a parent so that you don’t hurt your child’s self-esteem development.

Hitting and Yelling

The most damaging thing you can do for your child’s self-esteem is to yell at it and hit it. By doing this, you are only showing that you can’t control your impulses and that you want to show how powerful you are. You also “teach” your child that it’s okay to display dominance this way. Is this really the message you want to send to your child? Of course not.

Okay, as we said, nobody’s perfect and we all lose our nerve from time to time. A parent can put up with kids to a certain point and then it’s either finding the right approach or letting all hell get lose. However, keep in mind that if you allow “all hell to get lose” you are making your child feel diminished. When parents hit and yell at their kids, their ability to develop a sense of a constructive conversation that is needed for solving a problem. All they will know is that they are not able to sort a problem. And that they need to yell and hit so that they hide the fact that they DON’T BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES…

Holding a Grudge

Every parent will experience its child behaving badly and having a conflict. But, it’s important to know that once the conflict is resolved, the worst thing you can do is to keep reminding your child about it. Kids should be allowed to be kids and they have the privilege of having a fresh start. By reminding your child of its bad behavior, you are only teaching it that holding a grudge is the right way to think.

Therefore, you need to teach your child that after learning from our mistakes, they stay in the past. The more you praise your child for its positive behavior after the incident, the more will it build its self-esteem. And, the chances that the same mistake happens again will be drastically reduced. Think about it…

Guilt Shaming

Asking your child from time to time to put itself in someone else’s situation is okay if the situation is appropriate for a “guilt shame”. However, doing this constantly for pretty much everything your child does will take a devastating toll. Making your child feel bad about its mistakes, feelings, emotions only pushes your child away from you.

For example, if your kid does something, he/she shouldn’t, saying “How do you think this makes me feel?” or “I hope you realize how much you’ve hurt me with your actions!” you are making your child feel guilty. And doing this often is not good at all.

What you need to realize that your “hurt ego” is not the most important thing in this situation. Instead of making your child feel guilty, try and find a way to calmly explain why its actions are not good and how he/she should have handled the situation. Allow your child to open up and ask for your opinion every time it has a problem instead of doing something behind your back just so that your feelings are not hurt.

Sarcasm

Mistakes Parents Child’s Self-Esteem - sarcasm

Each time you say something that you don’t really mean but want to point out the opposite of what you just said, you are being sarcastic. Kids can detect that sarcastic tone and it makes them feel ashamed of their “poor” choices. You are not teaching your child to make the right choices this way. On the contrary, you are creating a barrier between you and your kid and effective communication becomes harder and harder. Pay attention to your tone and don’t be sarcastic. Parents should not make such mistakes and hurt their child’s self-esteem. There are much better, friendly, and more effective ways of letting your child realize that it could have made a better choice.


Therapy for couples – 6 signs that tell your relationship needs a therapist?
Category: Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 3 weeks ago Comments: 0

For most people, getting married means living in a romantic fairytale. It all starts when you meet the “right” person, then you get married, and you live happily ever after… However, unlike in fairytales, real relationships need work, plenty of work to actually work out. So, how do you know if you are working enough on your relationship? How do you know if your relationship needs therapy for couples? Here are 6 most common signs that your relationship needs a therapist.

You don’t talk

therapy for couples

By “you don’t talk” we don’t mean not talking for a few hours after a verbal confrontation. No, we mean not communicating enough or at all. In most cases, problems in relationships start when the couple simply isn’t communicating. If this is the case with your relationship, know that couples therapist can help you by presenting new ways of couple communication. Once you learn how to talk to each other, your relationship will move in a positive direction.

When your “talking” is always negative

Each communication that leaves one of the partners insecure, feeling judged or ashamed, or making him/her feeling that they need to get out of this conversation, is negative communication. Likewise, it’s not always about what one says but about how he or she says it. The tone of the voice is likewise extremely important. If the tone of the voice is negative, communication can, and usually does escalate into emotional abuse.

When one of the partners is afraid to talk

If you are scared to even bring a relationship, or other problems up, your relationship needs counseling. It’s not a healthy relationship if you are afraid to bring up things that bother you, whether we are talking about love or money issues, or some small things that annoy you. This is where therapy for couples comes useful. And this is where a therapist teaches the couple how to become clear about their problems. It’s all about helping the other side understand what you are talking about without feeling threatened.

Financial unfaithfulness is also a sign for therapy for couples

Keeping financial secrets from your partner is known as financial unfaithfulness and it’s in the same basket as sexual infidelity. This is not a sign of a normal relationship and it should be discussed. In most cases the partner that keeps secrets about how much he/she spends doesn’t want to admit this, therefore, professional help is needed.

Sex life is in the gutter

It’s completely normal for couples to have a less passionate sex life after they’ve been living together for a few years. But, if it’s sudden and significant, then you most likely have a problem in your relationship. On the other hand, a sudden increase in sex life can also be an alarm. This may mean that the partner that all of a sudden has “bigger appetites” for sex is trying to compensate for something he/she is doing and makes them feel bad about it.

Arguing over the same little things over and over again

Each person comes with trigger behaviors. By this, we mean specific things that “blow their cap”, which in most cases wouldn’t bother other people. It doesn’t have to be something dramatic. On the contrary, it usually comes down to small things such as drinking from the cardboard, leaving the seat toilet up or down, not watering the plants, and so on and so forth. We are sure you know what we mean. However, the problem here is that in most cases, the other side doesn’t even know that the small things they do are causing so much stress. And that’s why they don’t understand why arguments begin about such “trivial” things. This is where couples therapists help by discussing these issues and figuring out the real root of the problems.


Should you let your kid watch scary movies?
Category: Blog,Recommended Author: Feel Better Date: 4 weeks ago Comments: 0
should you let your kid watch scary movies

With Halloween being right at our gates, the question “Should I let my kids watch horror movies?” pops up on most parents’ minds. In the event of your kid expressing a wish to get more familiar with a certain horror movie, or wishing to know more about this genre in general, you have to be ready to provide some answers. However, most parents don’t really know what’s the right answer to such a question. So, should you let your kid watch scary movies or should this genre remain a mystery for a few more years? The answers follow.

 

Should you let your kid watch scary movies? There’s way worse content out there…

If you are one of those parents that don’t pay too much attention to what their kids are watching on TV or YouTube, then a scary movie is like lemonade for their psyche because there’s way more devastating content out there than horror movies. Just take news for example. Every day there’s goring news with live footage of mass shootings, bombings, and body parts lying around.

So how can a horror movie that isn’t actually real, be worse than a made-up scary movie? At least, in scary movies, the hero usually beats the villain (scary character) and there’s always a lesson to be learned at the end. In conclusion, scary movies are not the end of the world and if your child wants to watch it, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t let him. Of course, if it isn’t explicit or a slasher, but a good old healthy dose of scary, your kid will be fine. But let’s talk more about what is appropriate and what’s not.

 

What kind of scary movies are allowed?

Yes, we did say that it’s okay for kids to watch scary movies. However, that doesn’t mean that they can watch any horror movie they get their hands on. For example, slashers such as SAW, or similar, are definitely not something you would like your child seeing.

The main rule you have to follow is to know what your kid is about to watch and that You are okay with it. If you find a scary movie not so scary, no bloody slasher scenes, and without nude or sexual scenes, there is no real problem with your child seeing it.

In addition, it is very important, as mentioned above, that the movie has a point at the end. There has to be a good message behind the movie, for example, good guys always win over dark, evil villains or monsters. This way, scary movies won’t psychologically damage your child and there shouldn’t be any side effects such as nightmares. And, you should not let your child watch a scary movie alone but watch it all together as a family. It will be less scary for them and less affecting in general.

Why you should you let your kid watch scary movies

First of all, remember when you were a kid. When your parents specifically told you that something was off-limits, you wanted to do it even more, right? Well, the same goes for your kid as well. If you give an “order” that horror movies are off-limits, your child will want to see it even more. Kids are curious by nature and they want to understand what’s all the fuss about, in this case, horror movies. Therefore, if you ban horror movies in your house, they will definitely find a way to watch one when you are not around. Do you really want to have your kid choose a horror movie on his own? Of course, you don’t! So, as we said above, choose one that you think is appropriate and watch it as a family. Who knows, maybe Halloween will become your Horror movie marathon tradition!

 


Why the first impression is so important and how to make good ones?
Category: Blog,Recommended,Self improvement Author: Feel Better Date: 1 month ago Comments: 0
why the first impression is so important

Did you know that it takes about 15 seconds to make a first impression? Also, more than half of first impressions are made based off of appearance. Also, the tone of the voice is something that influences the first impression greatly, while what you say isn’t that much important as one might think. But why the first impression is so important? Do we really have less than 20 seconds to make a good first impression? How to actually make a great first good impression? Just keep reading our article to find out.

Why the first impression is so important and how to make a good one?

More often than not, making a bad first impression is something that you can’t go back from. But the good news is that you can work on being a stellar first impressionist in a few easy steps. Sure, this road might get “ugly” because you might discover some things about you that will make a bad impression on yourself. Just look at it as a road to improvement in general, and making good first impressions is just one of the benefits.

Here are the steps you need to make to become the “First impression magician”.

Honestly ask yourself if you make a great first impression or not?

Do you want to be seen as energetic, reliable, confident, and make a great first impression on anyone you meet for the first time? You need to make a great impression on yourself first. This is the “ugly” part of the path we mentioned. This is where you have to be honest with yourself and spot the things about you that, firstly, you don’t like, and then what other people might not like about you. Once you get those sorted out, you can move to the next phase which is, getting yourself in shape, in every possible way.

Get in physical shape

Exercise and work on your body at least 3 or 4 days a week and make sure you eat healthily. Did you know that “oversized” people are less likely to make a good impression on a job interview that people who are fit? Companies see “bulkier” people as an expense because such workers are less energetic, thus less productive, and they take more sick days than workers who are in better physical shape. So, do you want to be “that guy’?

“Dress to kill”

In order to “blow away” anyone who you meet for the first time, you have to be dressed to “kill”. This means that your wardrobe is clean, without wrinkles, appropriate, yet stylish. Having an extra sharp wardrobe style is never out of fashion and it sure is impressive. Do you think James Bond made a bad first impression? Ever?

Don’t avoid your hairstylist

There’s nothing that says more that you are a wreck like a bad, shaggy, unnurtured hair… Therefore, don’t forget where your hairstylist’s studio is and make sure you regularly pay him a visit.

Don’t forget about your face

why the first impression is so important

Great hair matters nothing if the rest of the head isn’t in tune. So, for men, don’t allow your beard and mustache to look like they belong to a homeless person! Trim regularly! For women, bad face skin is definitely not going to make you the queen of good first impressions so use those cremes you paid a small fortune and don’t forget to practice on your makeup skills!

The first impression is so important so mind your posture and smile

why the first impression is so important

Having a straight posture and a smile on the face is as important as any other thing on this list. The truth is, when you stand straight and have a smiling face, you look confident and friendly, which is a killer combo for being the king of first impressions.


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