Ever wondered how simple life can become if we learn to identify and avoid toxic relationships. These relationships affect us everywhere in our daily life like our workplace, social gatherings, and domestic affairs, etc. We often recognize them as truly toxic relationships after certain hard experiences. So, how to how to manage noxious relationships?
The category of toxic relations varies. Relationships at the workplace and relationships in personal life both can have different tough consequences on our personalities, behavior, and attitude.
Let us identify a few of the toxic relations and learn to handle them more positively.
A control freak wants everything to be done their way. They are rigid and extremely inflexible. Except for their opinion, there cannot be a better resolution to any problem. They will ensure that the control of relationships and situations all lie in their hand.
What should be our response to them? Confrontation and emotional mellowing never work with them, therefore it’s important that we are highly assertive with them. No matter how much you do, it will have zero influence on them. However, if you play for time, that works best with them. Avoid being forced to agree or tell them you are with them in those confused situations. There are three goals you want to achieve with control freaks: Learning to manage our assertive behavior, emotional reactions, and learning to draw boundaries.
“No! Wrong! Why! How! What?!”
Absolutely YES, these are exactly those hyper-analytical and picky species that tend to find fault in you with everything. No matter you suggest them a big idea, they will bombard it down without thought. They are highly rigid-stressed individuals and sometimes very insecure in nature. This personality trait is commonly found in elderly people. Dealing with critical people isn’t easy at all. It is suggested that you ignore unnecessary inflammable information and learn to grow from the imperative information that they share. Take out time to evaluate the validity of their comments.
The People Pleaser
Oh, this person will keep everyone around them at the happiest place. They will say or do whatever it takes to please someone. These bobble heads never show that they disagree with others. They are difficult to understand because others never know how they truly they feel about certain situations. While dealing with pleasers, it’s important that we give them sufficient space for them to become assertive. Try to create secure warmth for them to recognize their original thoughts and emotions. Let them make decisions and honor their resolutions. It has been seen that these people work best when given deadlines to work within.
“Poor Me”. These people are very self-doubting, insecure, anxious and lacks confidence. They live with a feeling that they hold no power and no control over their own lives. You will see them playing the blame game in most of the instances. These people will never take up responsibilities to prove higher standards. They are the most exhausting toxic relationships. Dealing with them requires you to be assertive in the first place. Most of the issues come from their attitude. Therefore, you need to be assertive enough to tell them that they need to change. They will speak about their problem once, listen carefully and form a solution for them. Don’t let them repeat as they are only aiming to gain sympathy.
Manipulators are great at figuring out how to get their needs met so they are dangerous and gingerly in nature. It is suggested that you trust them with limited access. They can mislead anyone to get their own way ahead. These people will work on your weakness and gain high control over you in a very subtle and devious approach. They capitalize on you smartly to get their work done. They are less recognizable in nature and often identified as wrong friends later in life. Your response to these people should always be time-consuming. While they offer an opportunity or a good deal, learn to say “No” diplomatically. Tell them you will think over it and get back to them. Understand your basic nature and avoid such contacts accordingly.
The Lazy Person
Lazy people will often chase short cuts. Furthermore, they will inappropriately take way anybody’s idea to get through their work. Additionally, they can even be smart enough to convince you to do their work done for them. Therefore, being cautious and keeping ideas to oneself is the only manageable way to deal with them.
The Swinging Person
Isn’t it annoying and unpleasant when decisions are more according to someone’s mood and less reasoned in nature? Also, you should never lie your trust in what they say or do as a reflection of genuine thoughts or feelings. The truth is, they will change their mind as their mood changes. And, since the reliability is minimal, overhearing works best with them. Therefore, take charge of your work and become the one that makes the final decisions.
The famous storytellers of the street and they spread stories about people, which may or may not be true. Additionally, they contribute to a great impact of distrust among individuals. And, they can sometimes shamelessly lie when caught up in difficult situations. Therefore, depending on the rumor, you need to deal with them. So, if it lacks credibility just IGNORE. On the other hand, if it affects your relationships and reputation then confront them in a face-to-face meeting.
How to Manage Noxious Relationships – Wrapping Things Up
We form relations’ every day. However, it is important to be aware of what kind of relations you surround yourself with. Additionally, learning to deal with toxic relationships will enhance your daily quality of life and improve the mental stress level. Finally, you can consider relationship counseling to feel better about people you love by learning ways that work best with them and learning how to manage noxious relationships in general.
By: Khilly Marwaha, Psychologist